Too Good To Be True????

During the Spring semester of my freshman year, a few of us decided that we just weren’t sexy enough for the 4 or 5 women that attended Penn State Mont Alto. To remedy this, we got gym memberships at this place called Malibu Gym. I think we liked the name because oddly enough, Malibu was also one of the beer drinking sites in the woods of Mont Alto.

I probably should’ve started questioning the “stability” of said gym when I found out that a 6-month membership was $30 ….that’s it – not $30 a month, but $30!!! Instead, I chose to overlook this glaring issue, and instead gloat about how great of a deal we got (not to mention give thanks for not having to “curb” my alcohol purchases). However, $30 per person for 6 months will not keep a gym functioning for a long period of time.

The second thing that I should’ve noticed was the autographed poster of Rick “The Model” Martel positioned right near the entranceway. No real gym has a poster of a wrestler called “The Model,” or at least they don’t prominently display it. Most people like gyms that have posters of real men – men like Lou Ferrigno, Ahnold Schwarzenegger, and Jean Claude Van Damm (sorry to exclude Steven Segall, but I said gym, not burger joint).

The owner gave us a workout program, which somehow was also included in the $30. I guess it worked well, but it was hard to determine how well the finished product would’ve been, considering the gym closed two months later … WITHOUT NOTICE! I wasn’t too pissed off about it though, because (A) we only paid $30, and (B) it was getting in the way of my studying/drinking time.

That Time of Year

This time of year reminds me of the ill feeling of going back to school. I know it is cliché, but I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to enjoy every moment of college.

Going back to Penn State was always difficult. First, it was colder and snowier than Delaware County. This presented many problems – not only having to wear heavier clothes, and having to trudge to class in ankle-deep snow, but more importantly, the women were much more fully clothed. One could no longer see the nice shapely bodies that were hiding under the parkas.

Dismal was certainly a way to describe it. But, we always found ways to have fun in the winter months. One time, after a particularly heavy blizzard, as we were cleaning off our balcony, we noticed somebody had left their window open across the street. The only real option we had was to get the snow off our balcony … and into that window. We started throwing countless snow balls at this window. Some made it in, and some didn’t. Other neighbors joined in our fun, and the window we were aiming act began looking like a giant snow drift.

I’m not sure how much damage we did to this room, but I am pretty sure of one thing – the apartment dwellers in that room learned a valuable lesson that day.