A Slant on Slant

I didn’t have the privilege of meeting Slant until sophomore year of college, but I knew of him. It is not that Slant carried around that sort of popularity, it’s just that going to Penn State Mont Alto, which “harbored” around 1,300 students, one became familiar with students that were seen on campus a lot - especially, if they consistently went to class, and Slant was the only other roommate besides me who consistently went to class.

Thanks to Mung, I was formally introduced to Slant on the beach volleyball courts. I was an average beach volleyballer at best, and I made up for my lack of “jumping ability,” by using my face to “save” shots, and also my “extraordinary” humor and sarcasm, which temporarily disabled opponents. Slant’s first impression of me, which is standard for most people that come into initial contact with me, was “What an asshole.” However, unlike most people, this was followed by “I like him.”

Within a week, Slant and I went to a soccer game in Carlisle, PA, a place we came to adore because of the $6 case of Milwaukee’s Best that many of the beer distributers sold in said town. Our “driver,” whom I’ll call “Chaw” because of his unhealthy love of Kodiak and Skoal, owned a Ford automobile of some sort that apparently only offered a back seat as an option. Slant and I were forced to lay in a trunk, ala 16-Candles. This ride, however, was an extended one, lasting approximately 45 minutes. We, however, found a way to get on Chaw’s nerves, even whilst in the trunk. Some of our “tactics” included repeatedly uttering annoying movie lines, and repeatedly inquiring as to whether or not we had reached our destination.

At the soccer games, we continued to get under the skin of Chaw, by making fun of any little thing he did. We realized that alone, we could do some damage, but if we used our annoying powers together, the strength of these powers multiplied. Chaw saw one of his “high school friends,” and tried to get his attention. However, this friend completely ignored him, and Slant and I took note of this. In fact, I don’t think we ever let him live this down.

Slant and I got along very well from that point on. We even decided that one morning for breakfast, we would meet at the cafeteria, and try to make each other laugh while eating cereal. Of course, Slant was able to win – he is probably the funniest person I’ve ever met. Hopefully, he will continue to add stories so that each of you can experience his sense of humor.