Edgar

I remember a guy who went to Mont Alto when I was a freshman – he was named Edgar. Edgar was a most interesting person in that he was so deaf, he couldn’t hear you next to him, but for some reason, he could hear a keg being tapped a mile away. In fact, scientists have speculated that Edgar’s ears were very similar to sharks’ noses, but instead of being able to smell a drop of blood from miles away, Edgar’s ears could hear a drop of beer from the same distance.

I only remember seeing Edgar at keg parties – I’m not sure if he was even actually a student at the campus, to tell you the truth. But the guy never missed a party, and was always there to greet you with either his classic “Pretty Cool,” line, or the more muffled “Let’s get f*cked up” favorite - both done with some sort of slur that was endearing yet very funny. So popular was he, that he was imitated all over campus, by students, faculty and staff. I think there may have been tee-shirts and coffee mugs sold on campus with his picture on them.

Edgar was everything you would think he was just by hearing his name and knowing where he went to school. He was a pure woodsman. Again, I’m not sure if he actually knew how to do things like throw axes and chop down trees, but I did know this – Edgar looked like a woodsman and that is all that mattered. He wore flannel like it was skin. Jeans were considered standard, as well as the scraggily thing he wore on his face that he called a beard (I swear, when he was chewin’ tobacco, that thing winked at me). I believe he wore a hat, but it had been permanently bonded to his head over the years.