Vodka and What???

You know you’ve had too much to drink when you are laughing at Byron Allen. Yes, this actually happened to yours truly during his freshman year in college. Picture this: a college in a very rural part of Pennsylvania on a weekend when most students chose to travel home. That’s right – a Philly boy, like myself, had to make do at good ol’ Penn State Mont Alto with hardly anybody around. There wasn’t even a kegger scheduled for that weekend, which made the prospect of having fun a little bleaker. Remember, our dorm t.v. only got 25 Alive (an NBC station that spent a lot of broadcasting time promoting the York County fair).

My suite-mate, Weezie, decided to stick around that weekend as well, and the two of us decided to drink the $3 bottle of Vodka that my roommate had brought up with him (but since he wasn’t there, the bottle was free game in our book). This vodka was the real-deal, complete with a plastic bottle … which meant we had to scurry to the local convenience store to pick up some kind of mix that would at least partially dilute the hideous paint-like flavor. We found only grape mix – not the best mix for vodka. But, we were desperate to, at the very least, get through the night without being sober (after all, we were freshmen).

We mixed a few glasses of grape-juice and vodka, watched some movies on VHS, and then got a phone call from some other friends who lived in the dorm next to ours. They had beer, and we had vodka. Could the night get any better? Weezie and I hiked over to meet up with the others (we were kind of excited, because for some reason, the vodka and grape juice wasn’t really hitting the spot).

Beer and said vodka was mixed that night, my friends. We played all kinds of drinking games, and before I knew it, I was in front of the TV screen, laughing out loud to the Byron Allen show. You know you are drunk when you are laughing at Byron Allen. If you don’t know who he is, there is a good reason. He is NOT funny.

Anyway, around this time, my suite-mate realized how intoxicated I really was, and helped me back to my room – where I threw up a few hours later. Funny, how I no longer like the taste of grape juice.